Drop in the Ocean
by smallfire
Summary: She made a mistake. She meant to be watching them, but she wasn't. Now her mother and siblings are dead, and Cinderpaw has to cope with the guilt she feels. Her father, Cloudstar, refuses to look at her, and he treats her as though she doesn't exist. Can Cinderpaw prove that she belongs, or will she be an outcast forever?
1. AllegiancesPrologue: It's All Her Fault

**Welcome to my first fanfic! The allegiances and prologue are below courtesy of Smallfire for **_**Drop in the Ocean**_**. Hope you enjoy my first story!  
xxx – Small**

* * *

_Allegiances _

**RainClan**

Leader: Cloudstar – small white tom with yellow eyes

Deputy: Cedartail – dark gray tom with big white paws

Medicine Cat: Fawnflight – light gray she-cat with blue eyes

Warriors: (toms and she-cats without kits)

Dawnlight – golden-brown she-cat

Shrewfur – black tabby tom with blue eyes  
Apprentice; Smokepaw

Leafpetal – brown-and-gray tabby she-cat with green eyes

Oakcloud – light brown tabby tom  
Apprentice; Honeypaw

Petalfall – dappled light gray she-cat

Duststorm – mottled brown tom with blue eyes

Beeshadow – gray tabby tom with a black tail

Mossheart – tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes  
Apprentice; Cinderpaw

Stormeyes – dark gray tom with menacing blue eyes  
Apprentice; Featherpaw

Owlfeather – dark ginger tom

Eaglewing – white-and-brown tabby tom

Rosefur – white-and-ginger she-cat

Dappleheart – light brown she-cat

Apprentices: (more than six moons old, in training to become warriors)

Smokepaw – dark gray tom with amber eyes

Featherpaw – beautiful light gray she-cat

Honeypaw – light brown she-cat with golden patches

Cinderpaw – dark gray she-cat with amber eyes

Queens: (she-cats expecting or nursing kits)

Squirreltail – ginger she-cat with green eyes (mother of Cloudstar's kits: Tawnykit (tortoiseshell she-cat with brown patches), and Whitekit (white tabby tom with green eyes))

Nightshine – black she-cat with amber eyes (mother of Owlfeather's kits: Hollykit (black she-cat) and Patchkit (gray-and-ginger tabby tom))

Sandfoot – dusky brown she-cat with ginger paws; expecting Beeshadow's kits

Elders: (former queens and warriors, now retired)

Raggedstone – un-groomed gray tom with awkward legs

Duskclaw – brown tabby tom

**SnowClan **

Leader: Berrystar – cream-colored tom with blue eyes

Deputy: Sorrelpelt – tortoiseshell she-cat with white patches and green eyes

Medicine Cat: Mudtail – dark brown tabby tom  
Apprentice; Robinpaw (reddish-brown she-cat)

Warriors: Minnowheart – black she-cat with a white tail

Graytail – dark gray tabby tom

Willowclaw – light gray she-cat

Antleg – black tom with amber eyes  
Apprentice; Crowpaw (black tabby tom with yellow eyes)

Copperblaze – dark brown tabby tom

Morningleaf – white she-cat with a brown underbelly and ginger paws  
Apprentice; Stonepaw (light gray tabby tom)

Bouncewhisker – black-and-ginger tom

Queens: Swallowflight – dark gray she-cat (mother of Antleg's kits: Mistkit (light gray she-cat) and Ashkit (dark gray tabby tom with black flecks))

Mistywing – dark gray she-cat with golden eyes; expecting Copperblaze's kits

Elders: Silverfern – silver she-cat

Darkcloud – dark brown tabby tom

Halffur – black tabby tom with half of his fur missing

**SleetClan**

Leader: Toadstar – black tom with ginger-and-white patches

Deputy: Firestripe – black tom with ginger stripes across his back  
Apprentice; Milkpaw (creamy-white tom)

Medicine Cat: Cherrypelt – brown-and-white she-cat with green eyes

Warriors: Rowanfire – dark ginger tom

Amberstream – golden-and-ginger she-cat

Weedfeather – ginger tom with blue eyes

Whiteleaf – pure white she-cat  
Apprentice; Pinepaw (pale gray she-cat with blue eyes)

Sunstripe – dark ginger tom

Slushfall – big white tabby tom

Larchpelt – light brown tom with green eyes

Mossflower – light brown she-cat

Swiftcloud – black-and-white tom  
Apprentice; Mintpaw (white tabby tom)

Queens: Creamfur – creamy she-cat with yellow eyes (mother of Sunstripe's kits: Briarkit (dark brown tabby she-cat) and Tumblekit (ginger tabby tom)

Elders: Tallfoot – small black tom with long legs

**IceClan**

Leader: Hazelstar – brown-and-white she-cat

Deputy: Jayflight – dark gray tom with green eyes

Medicine Cat: Poppyflower – tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat

Warriors: Sparrowflight – dark brown tabby tom  
Apprentice; Nettlepaw (ginger-and-brown tom)

Grayfern – light gray she-cat with green eyes

Starlingleap – dark brown tom

Dewpelt – brown tabby she-cat  
Apprentice; Specklepaw (light brown she-cat)

Thrushfeather – dark gray tabby tom with ginger patches

Snakefur – light brown tom with black stripes

Heatherfrost – pale gray tabby she-cat

Bugeyes – small tabby tom with big eyes

Seedpelt – tortoiseshell-and-brown she-cat

Queens: Fallowbreeze – gray-and-brown she-cat (mother of Thrushfeather's kits: Dovekit (pale gray she-cat), Birdkit (dark brown she-cat), Brackenkit (ginger tom), and Barkkit (dark brown tabby tom)

Shineheart – golden-brown she-cat with blue eyes (mother of Sparrowflight's kit: Foxkit (light brown tabby tom))

Elders: Lostpatches – elderly white she-cat with ragged fur

* * *

_Prologue - It's All Her Fault  
_

"Cinderkit! Watch your siblings!" Squirreltail's head poked out of the nursery and Cinderkit nodded. She turned her head towards her siblings, Tawnykit and Whitekit. The two kits were only one moon old and from her mother's second litter.

Although they received all of the attention in her family, Cinderkit constantly reminded herself not to resent them. This has her parents' doing, not hers.

"I will," Cinderkit promised, watching Tawnykit and Whitekit play-fight with each other.

She sat outside the nursery with her tail around her paws. It was a beautiful day in leaf-fall and with leaf-bare coming, Cinderkit reminded herself that as an apprentice, she'd be training during the hardest season of the year. She had to the savor the weather as it was. Days like this didn't happen often.

She sighed, as she settled herself down, curling up in a ball while she watched Tawnykit and Whitekit. Tawnykit squealed as Whitekit rolled over, pinning down his sister.

"Get off me!" Tawnykit laughed, batting at her brother.

Cinderkit sighed, closing her eyes. As long as she could hear them, she considered that to be "watching" her siblings. She tapped her tail against the ground as she heard her siblings laughing. She began to drift off when she heard a voice drawing near to her.

"Hey, Cinderkit!"

Cinderkit poked one eye open and groaned, seeing Smokepaw padding towards her. The dark gray tom seemed to have a habit of catching her whenever she wasn't busy.

"Hey, Smokepaw," she mewed, sitting up, brushing off her pelt. "What're you doing?"

"Just chatting," he mewed briskly.

_Just chatting…_ Cinderkit moaned, knowing that that was the only thing Smokepaw ever did.

"So what's up?" Cinderkit asked, deciding the quicker she began a conversation, the quicker it would be over.

"Shrewfur wants to assess my hunting skills. He thinks I have great stalking skills, but I seem to always scare off the pray."

"Wonder why," muttered Cinderkit, too quiet for the apprentice to hear.

Smokepaw was so clumsy and stupid, it was a wonder he hadn't driven all the prey out of RainClan.

"What's that?" Smokepaw asked, clearly not catching on to Cinderkit's thoughts.

"Hey, Smokepaw!"

Cinderkit looked up and saw Shrewfur padding towards them. The black tabby tom looked annoyed. It was a wonder he could put up with his apprentice. Cinderkit wished that she had his tolerance.

"Let's go assess your hunting skills," Shrewfur called.

"Great! Bye Cinderkit!" Smokepaw bounded after him and Cinderkit breathed a sigh of relief as the apprentice bounded after his mentor.

Cinderkit then curled back up again, hoping for peace and quiet. It was her last day as a kit. The next day, she'd ben an apprentice. It was as though she was on top of the world. She'd finally get to get away from Squirreltail. Her mother was always fussing over her, telling her to try harder and do better, but she clearly favored her siblings. Tawnykit and Whitekit got all the attention. And so much for having the clan leader as her father. Cloudstar barely even noticed her.

The nursery was also too crowded. She'd wake up from a nap to find Nightshine's two kits, Hollykit and Patchkit, tumbling over her. And with Sandfoot recently having moved into the nursery, Cinderkit never got any peace and quiet. She then squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out all sights and sounds, except for that of the nature around her…

"Help! Help!"

Cinderkit's eyes flew open and she turned to see Tawnykit suspended from the mouth of a hawk. Whitekit was grasping onto Tawnykit's tail and the two kits were dangling from the mouth of the hawk as it picked itself off the ground.

"Cinderkit! Help!" wailed Whitekit, struggling to hold onto his sister.

All of the cats in the clearing stared up at the two kits, on the brink of death. Squirreltail burst from the nursery and ignored Cinderkit, running after them.

"No!" she cried.

Then, as if SkyClan had given her more power than she'd ever had, Squirreltail leaped up and managed to grab onto Whitekit. She tried to pull him down, but the hawk just made loud noises and swooped higher, shaking off Squirreltail, who had a firm grasp on Whitekit. Together, the two plummeted to the ground. Whitekit hit the ground with a thud, rolling away from his mother.

Looking up, Cinderkit saw the hawk, with Tawnykit in its jaws. It swooped away, with the kit dangling from its mouth. Cinderkit was frozen in shock, unable to tell if the kit was dead.

"Great SkyClan, what have I done?" muttered Cinderkit and raced over to her mother and Whitekit.

Fawnflight had already appeared out of the medicine cat's den and was pushing her way through the crowd of cats. She bent down towards Whitekit, prodding him gently.

"Whitekit," she murmured. "Come on, Whitekit. Wake up."

When Whitekit didn't move, Cinderkit felt a rush of terror run through her. What had she done? She should have been watching them…

"He'd dead," Fawnflight announced, her eyes dull. She then moved towards Squirreltail. The ginger she-cat was unmoving, her green eyes staring upwards.

Cloudstar was by his mate's side, letting out small wails. "Come on, Squirreltail," he coaxed. "You have to make it."

Squirreltail didn't move and Fawnflight pressed her paw to Squirreltail's neck. "It's broken," she mewed, noticing the awkward angle of it. "She… Cloudstar…" She turned to look at the leader, trying to think of comforting words to say to him.

Then Squirreltail, as though using all of her effort to say a few simple words, choked out, "It's. All. Her. Fault."

Cinderkit felt a chill run through her as her mother spoke. She looked into her mother's piercing green eyes to see hatred and anger in them, before they flickered around as though searching for something. Cinderkit gulped, waiting for her mother to react, but she didn't. Instead, she fell silent.

She was in the paws of SkyClan now.

* * *

**Well, what did you think? No matter how long this story takes to write, I vow to finish it. Sorry if it isn't that good either, but I'll remind you that this is my first fanfic. **

**Chapter 1, taking place one moon later is next! Please review!**

**xxx – Small **

**Oh, and PS. SkyClan is their version of StarClan, if anyone hasn't figured that out. **


	2. Chapter 1: If Only

**Whitekit: Excuse me, Small? You **_**killed me?!**_

**Small: I'm sorry! It's all part of the story! **

**Whitekit: I feel betrayed. **

**Small: Oh, Whitekit. I'm sorry… but now you get to help me write this story. **

**Whitekit *excited*: Really?**

**Small: Yes. :) **

**Whitekit: Oh, boy, I'm excited for the first chapter then because this one is good.**

**Small: Indeed it is… indeed it is. So, here it is! Chapter 1!**

***Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors***

_Chapter 1 — If Only_

"Cinderkit, until you receive your warrior name, you shall be known as Cinderpaw." Cloudstar spoke, his words ringing out clearly around the clearing.

Before Squirreltail had died, Cinderpaw had always imagined Cloudstar giving her, her apprentice name, his voice filled with love, pride, and compassion. Now, there was none of that. His voice sounded dull and unenthusiastic, his eyes filled with hatred and anger that he dared not reveal to the rest of the Clan.

"Mossheart, you are ready for your first apprentice. You will be Cinderpaw's mentor."

Cloudstar spat out the words with such hatred that Cinderpaw couldn't believe her father would dare address any cat that way. Cinderpaw assumed that she was overreacting, but when she looked into the eyes of the rest of the cats, she saw that they all looked uneasy, exchanging glances with each other and then giving Cloudstar a hesitant look.

Mossheart, quick to break the uncomfortable situation, padded forward and touched her nose to Cinderpaw's. "I will do the best that I can," she breathed.

There was a moment of silence. When no one began calling her new name, Cinderpaw began to feel her pelt burning hot. Her own _mentor_ wasn't calling her name. She couldn't start cheering for herself either…

Cinderpaw was about to run away from the ceremony when she heard a cat's voice erupt from the back of the clearing.

"Cinderpaw! Cinderpaw!"

Cinderpaw breathed a sigh of relief that someone had begun cheering, but then realized it was Smokepaw. _But then,_ a small voice in the back of her head whispered, _who else would it be?_

Cinderpaw quickly reminded herself not to resent Smokepaw. The situation could have escalated quickly and become much more embarrassing if he hadn't begun cheering. Cinderpaw waited for other cats to join in. Featherpaw and Honeypaw, the two other apprentices, were among the first. Mossheart soon joined in, as well as Nightshine and Sandfoot, the other queens in the nursery.

Cinderpaw saw Smokepaw looking at her expectantly and she mouthed a "thank you" to him. Cinderpaw then turned to face Cloudstar, only to see that her gaze was met with a disgusted one.

Cloudstar leaped down from the Largerock and disappeared into his den. Cinderpaw cast her head downward, feeling ashamed when she heard Mossheart's gentle voice in her ear.

"It's okay," she murmured gently. "He'll forgive you."

Cinderpaw looked up, peering into Mossheart's eyes and found the ability to croak out a thanks.

"Come on," Mossheart mewed, running her tail along the edge of Cinderpaw's pelt that she'd had Nightshine groom beforehand. "Let's go join Shrewfur and Smokepaw on a border patrol. Maybe that will make you feel better?"

Cinderpaw shrugged. Nothing was ever going to make her feel better again. After Squirreltail and Whitekit died, Cloudstar had spent the night grieving by his mate. Cinderpaw hadn't expected to have her apprentice ceremony the next day, but when Cloudstar had assembled the Clan and announced that Cinderpaw would have to wait _another moon_ to become an apprentice, Cinderpaw had taken it to heart, immediately knowing that Cloudstar blamed her for Squirreltail and Whitekit's deaths. Cinderpaw had tried to protest, but Cloudstar had dismissed her absently, not wanting to hear it. Others had told her that it would take time for Cloudstar to heal, but he hadn't. Instead, their relationship seemed to have gotten worse.

After their deaths, Smokepaw had made double the effort to befriend Cinderpaw, which had made her ready to claw the apprentice's eyes out. She just wanted to be alone to grieve.

Nightshine had taken over her care, not blaming Cinderpaw for anything that happened. She allowed Cinderpaw to keep her thoughts to herself until she was ready to speak, if she ever was. She never pressed the young cat farther than she wanted to be, and she treated Cinderpaw like she treated Hollykit and Patchkit, never making her feel different.

"Cinderpaw?" Mossheart asked. Cinderpaw had gone into a daze, and Mossheart was waving her tail in front of Cinderpaw, trying to bring her back to the camp.

"What? Oh, right. Okay." Cinderpaw decided that the patrol would take her mind off of everything else. She was finally an _apprentice. _She'd been waiting for this moment for as long as she could remember.

"Great!" Mossheart purred, guiding Cinderpaw over to where Smokepaw was pacing around Shrewfur indignantly.

"Finally!" Smokepaw mewed, jumping up eagerly. "I thought you'd never come!"

But even as Smokepaw spoke lightheartedly, Cinderpaw sensed the unease in his gaze. Cinderpaw kneaded the ground. Most of the cats knew that Cloudstar had been uncomfortable around Cinderpaw, but today, during the apprentice ceremony, every cat seemed to have noticed how strong Cloudstar's distaste for his kit was.

"Relax, Smokepaw," Shrewfur meowed, calming his apprentice. "It's Cinderpaw's first day as an apprentice. Every cat's first day can be overwhelming."

"Well, she better not slow _me _down!" Smokepaw purred, racing out into the forest.

Seeing Smokepaw race out of camp through the lichen tunnel made Cinderpaw's paws itch for the grass of the forest beneath her. She let out a squeal racing after him. Smokepaw had already bounded down into the ravine by the time Cinderpaw managed to catch up. She pushed all thoughts of Cloudstar and her dead family to the back of her mind as she glimpsed the forest for the first time, taking in the new scents and surroundings.

"Slow, aren't you?" Smokepaw teased as Cinderpaw lunged for him, missing by a tail-length.

"You two, wait up!"

Cinderpaw turned to see Mossheart and Shrewfur bounding towards them, Mossheart in the lead. Smokepaw leaped forward, pinning down Cinderpaw's tail and throwing her off balance, taking her by surprise.

"Gotcha!" Smokepaw quipped.

"I'll get back at you," Cinderpaw replied good-humoredly.

"I'm sure you will," Smokepaw mewed, breathless.

"Don't waste your breath," Mossheart meowed. "We still have a lot of territory to patrol. And Cinderpaw, this is your first time out; your paws may get tired."

"No they won't!" Cinderpaw objected.

Mossheart gaze bore into hers, and Cinderpaw squirmed under it. It probably wasn't the right time to provoke an argument with her mentor. She didn't need to get on Mossheart's bad side. Instead, she and Smokepaw followed in silence as they patrolled the border.

Cinderpaw looked around the forest. This was a completely different experience for her. The scent of the forest was fresh and clean beneath her paws and her ears twitched at every new sound. She could sense prey, but none near where they were.

"Where's the prey?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Most of it doesn't stray near the borders," Mossheart commented. "Which is probably a good thing, else we'd be chasing more prey onto SnowClan territory. We don't need to have more skirmishes than we already have. Especially over something like prey."

Cinderpaw nodded, understanding. She'd never realized how important prey was to the Clans.

"This is SnowClan territory," Mossheart mewed after some time in silence. "Take a whiff."

Cinderpaw inhaled their scent, not certain as to what to expect. "Ick!" she cried out almost immediately. _"Gross!_"

Shrewfur purred. "It's not that good, is it?"

"Well, it's SnowClan!" Cinderpaw pointed out. "_Snow._ I expected their smell to be more… pure." Cinderpaw chose her words carefully.

Mossheart nodded, marking the border. "I thought the same thing when my mentor first took me out."

Cinderpaw followed Mossheart and Shrewfur as they patrolled. Smokepaw helped too, pointing out the High Willow, which was the best tree to find squirrels and the Golden Oak, where RainClan cats first learned their stealthy climbing skills. The oak's branches were complex, and staring at them gave Cinderpaw a headache.

"Someday you'll have this tree memorized," Mossheart mewed.

Cinderpaw couldn't imagine it. _That tree?_ It was so big and complicated, and she knew that she didn't have the best memory. Mossheart could sense her uncertainty.

"Don't worry," she assured Cinderpaw. "It'll be moons before that's done."

Cinderpaw nodded and then followed her mentor and Shrewfur. Smokepaw dropped back to make conversation with Cinderpaw, but the young apprentice wasn't in the mood for it. Her paws were beginning to ache, and she longed for Nightshine's comfort. But she knew that she'd no longer have the chance to sleep side by side with the young queen who'd given her comfort after her mother and siblings had died.

Cinderpaw continued to tread along when Mossheart dropped back until Cinderpaw caught up to her. Gently, she drew her tail over Cinderpaw's ears. "Tired?" she asked, her voice wary.

"No," Cinderpaw lied.

"It's okay," Mossheart murmured gently. "It's been a long day. You won't appear weak if you say you're tired."

Cinderpaw ducked her head, feeling somewhat guilty, but Mossheart just pressed her pelt up against her, clearly with the intention to give her comfort.

"Let's head back to camp," she purred. "You deserve a rest. You've done a lot for an apprentice out for the first time."

Cinderpaw's pelt fluffed underneath Mossheart's praise, but just dipped her head, respecting Mossheart's words.

"Let's head back!" Mossheart commanded. "Everything seems to be okay, which is good."

Shrewfur nodded his agreement. "Nothing unusual to report for once." He thumpd his tail down on the ground. "I'm surprised Hazelstar hasn't tried anything unusual."

His mew was taut, and Cinderpaw tried to read his expression, but couldn't. She gazed across towards the IceClan border, and tried to imagine their leader Hazelstar. She'd heard nursery tales about how IceClan often clawed out RainClan for unnecessary territory at this exact spot. She assumed it was the reason it was dubbed "Clawing Territory."

When they returned to camp, Cinderpaw spotted Cloudstar and Cedartail sharing a piece of fresh-kill. Cinderpaw instinctively veered away from them. She saw Cedartail giving her a sympathetic glance out of the corner of his eye as Shrewfur and Mossheart padded over them to give them the report. She could feel Cloudstar's gaze burning into her pelt as well, but his was less sympathetic and more menacing.

Smokepaw drew his tail over Cinderpaw's back and for once, Cinderpaw let the hurt spill over her. Her eyes felt clouded, and she stumbled over to the fresh-kill pile, taking a piece of prey and bringing it over to the apprentice's clearing to share with Smokepaw.

"It'll be okay," Smokepaw mewed gently as Cinderpaw took a bite out of the fresh-kill.

Cinderpaw flashed a glance across camp to where Cloudstar and Cedartail were speaking with Shrewfur and Mossheart.

"If only Squirreltail and Whitekit hadn't died," Cinderpaw mewed, biting into the piece of prey.

"It was untimely," Smokepaw replied. "But you'll always have me. Even if Cloudstar manages to convince every other cat to turn their back on you."

Cinderpaw looked at him, and when she gazed into the depths of his eyes, she realized she didn't dislike him as much as he thought. Because behind his bright, outgoing, and annoying figure, he was actually one of the truest friends Cinderpaw could imagine in that moment.

* * *

**Whitekit: I hate Cloudstar.**

**Small: If you didn't hate him there would be no story. **

**Whitekit: Die, Cloudstar, die!**

**Small: But if you think about it, Cloudstar really is just grieving. **

**Whitekit: But that isn't fair to poor Cinderpaw!**

**Small: I know. And you won't find out what happens to "poor Cinderpaw" if you don't stop talking, because chapter 2 is a good one. **

**Whitekit: Oh, right, I'll be quiet. Sorry, Small! **

**Small: Haha. Chapter 2 will up be soon guys! I'll keep you posted. And please review!**

**xxx - Small **


	3. Chapter 2: Runaway

**Whitekit: Poor Cinderpaw. :(**

**Small: I know. It's sad for Cinderpaw, but don't worry! Her story is going to get _gooood._**

**Whitekit: Really? That's good! I want my sister to be happy!**

**Small: Ha. Don't worry about that. My story will have a happy ending.**

**Whitekit: *excited* Really?**

**Small: I didn't mean it because really… well, I can't tell you. **

**Whitekit: Ugh…**

**Small: Just let me write chapter 2!**

**Whitekit: Okay! Chapter 2, here it comes!**

* * *

_Chapter 2 – Runaway_

Cinderpaw leaped into the air, kicking, trying to pin down her mentor, but instead found herself on the sandy ground of the training follow. She let out a hiss of annoyance.

"Wrong!" snapped a voice.

Cinderpaw turned to see Cloudstar giving her a look of disapproval, his eyes etched with anger.

"You're never going to become a warrior like that!" Cloudstar's anger shook Cinderpaw and she crouched down, embarrassed. He never praised her for anything.

"Cloudstar, stop!" Mossheart jumped forward as Cloudstar attempted to leap up and join them. "Cinderpaw is _learning_. She'll get it. It's a new move."

"She's been an apprentice for long enough. I mastered that move my _first_ try. She should've gotten it by now_._" Cloudstar turned to Cinderpaw. "You'll never be a true warrior with skills those skills."

He then turned and stalked off. Cinderpaw bent her head, her eyes glazed with anger. She looked up at Mossheart, who gently ran her tail along Cinderpaw's spine.

"It's not your fault," Mossheart mewed gently. "Cloudstar is still grieving over Squirreltail, Whitekit, and Tawnykit."

"Yeah, but why does he think it's all my fault?" mumbled Cinderpaw. "It may be, a little, but it can't be all my fault!"

"I don't believe it is," Mossheart mewed. "And many other cats don't. It's just hard for Cloudstar to understand what's happened, and a way for him to forget the grief is for him to have you take the blame."

Cinderpaw looked away, out into the trees. She wanted to believe what Mossheart said, but for some reason, it seemed so unrealistic.

She'd been an apprentice for a quarter moon and so far, Cloudstar had only mocked, made fun of, and insulted everything she'd done. He'd told her that the squirrel she'd brought back was too scrawny, her fighting skills too weak, and she overslept too often. It wasn't even like she was his _daughter_ anymore.

"Let's go back to camp," suggested Mossheart. "Maybe hunting on the way will make you feel better."

Cinderpaw nodded. "Okay," she agreed. It was better that she try doing something good for the Clan, even if Cloudstar thought her hunting skills were pathetic.

On the way back, she caught a mouse and a shrew. Looking at them, she knew that neither of them would be good enough for Cloudstar if he saw them, and reminded herself to take them both straight to the elder's den.

"Good job today," Mossheart mewed as they entered camp, but Cinderpaw knew her mentor didn't really mean it.

Cinderpaw slipped off, not bothering to respond. She was a failure, and she knew that Mossheart wasn't pleased at having her as an apprentice. Cinderpaw dropped off the mouse and shrew. She quickly hurried to exit the den, before being stopped by the ever-inquisitive elders.

"Cinderpaw!" Duskclaw gave Cinderpaw an uncertain glance, his tail twitching with curiosity as he watched her go. "Why in such a hurry?"

Cinderpaw hesitated. She didn't want to lie to the elder, but she also didn't want to tell him about her problems.

"It's nothing, Duskclaw." She peeked out into camp and saw Smokepaw by the fresh-kill pile. "I just told Smokepaw that I'd share a piece of fresh-kill with him."

"Young ones," sighed Duskclaw. "Going off and falling in love way too quickly these days."

"He's _not_ my mate!" Cinderpaw argued, trying to hold her temper. Duskclaw was always jumping to conclusions and giving her lectures on how she shouldn't waste her young days with love.

Duskclaw let out a purr of amusement. "I never said he was."

"Give her a break," Raggedstone mewed, his gaze sympathetic. "She's going through a hard time."

Cinderpaw wasn't going to point out that she wasn't going through a hard time; her father just didn't love her because of what happened.

"All right," Duskclaw sighed, and he and Raggestone their conversation. Cinderpaw kicked the ground before stomping out of the elder's den. She scampered away from the den, wanting to get as far away as possible, and quickly joined Smokepaw beside the apprentice's clearing, where he'd chosen a magpie for himself.

"Could I share that?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Sure," Smokepaw mewed, shifting over to give Cinderpaw space before lowering his voice. "How's Cloudstar?"

Cinderpaw hesitated. Recently, she'd made more of an effort to be nicer to Smokepaw, and she could tell that he appreciated it. He stopped treading on her paws, and she stopped wanting to claw his ears off. It was as though he'd only wanted a friendship with her, and he'd stop following her around everywhere.

"He said I wasn't fighting properly."

"But you are!" Smokepaw objected.

Cinderpaw shrugged. "You've never seen me fight."

"But you can't be that bad!"

"According to _Cloudstar,_ I'm as useless as a kittypet. Probably even more useless."

"No you're not," Smokepaw assured her. "He's just being picky."

Cinderpaw shrugged, devouring the last of the magpie with Smokepaw. "Thanks," she mewed when she'd finished.

Smokepaw shrugged. "No problem. I'm joining Dawnlight, Petalfall, Oakcloud, and Honeypaw on patrol, but I'll talk to you after." He scampered to his paws before going over to join his patrol near the lichen tunnel.

Cinderpaw sighed. Smokepaw was lucky. Cinderpaw was jealous of him even though she knew she shouldn't be. She cocked her head to the side, watching as the sun began to set amongst the trees.

No other cat knew it yet, but that night, she was planning on running away. She didn't belong in RainClan, and she knew that they'd be better off without her. Besides, it might even give her Clan a chance to appreciate her. She turned towards her den and ducked inside, wrapping her tail around her paws. Featherpaw was asleep in the corner of the den, and Cinderpaw could see the slow rise and fall of her chest. She'd miss the gray she-cat's spirit, but she knew that it was better to leave and start a life elsewhere than put up with Cloudstar and the rest of the Clan's penetrating stares any longer.

Cinderpaw then closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. When she woke, it was past moonhigh. She tried to remember her dream, but couldn't, and decided that it was safe to leave camp. No SkyClan warrior had entered her dreams and tried to stop her from leaving. Stormeyes was on guard outside of the camp, but Cinderpaw knew she could use the dirtplace exit to go out of camp without being spotted.

She rose out of her nest, turning to see the other apprentice's beside her, before slipping towards the entrance of the den. She checked to make sure that no cat was there, and when no cat was, she headed towards the dirtplace exit, and quickly slipped out without being noticed.

By now, she knew the territory well enough and knew where she had to go. The quickest way out of the forest would be to cross the SleetClan border and then head towards Twoleg place, making sure not to be caught by a SleetClan patrol either. She'd heard some of the other cats talking about how cats from Twoleg place often wandered into the SleetClan border. Cinderpaw knew there was a chance of her finding friends there, and she quickly headed towards the SleetClan border, first rolling herself in some mud to disguise her scent.

She made her way towards the border, tasting the air to make sure that no cats were around. She couldn't let herself get caught. That would make her relationship with Cloudstar already worse than it was when she eventually got dragged back to camp. She just needed to get out of the forest alive.

Trekking along, Cinderpaw listened to the sound of the leaves beneath her paws mixed in with the chirping of birds and pattering of prey on the forest floor. Cinderpaw was lost in thought as she approached the SleetClan border. To leave her home behind was what she had to do, but to some extent, she was going to miss it. She sighed, about to leap across when she heard a faint voice in the distance.

"Help! Help!"

Cinderpaw whipped her head around.

"I need help!"

Cinderpaw looked around, knowing that she had to help whoever was in danger. She couldn't figure out who it was. It couldn't be a RainClan cat. She raced towards the sound of the voice and realized it was coming from the Shallow Pond. She'd heard stories of cats who'd fallen into it, and most of them hadn't ended well. The water was freezing at night, especially during the early days of newleaf when the frost came.

"Help me!"

Cinderpaw turned to see a head bobbing in the water and two flailing paws. _Mouse-brain!_ She thought. She was no genius, but at least she knew never to start flailing if you landed in water.

Cinderpaw hesitated, looking around. Any cat could die once they jumped in that water, and Cinderpaw knew she couldn't just let that cat _die_ in front of her.

"Please help!" wailed the cat. His voice sounded choked with water.

Cinderpaw stared frozen. She knew that cats drowned all the time when they couldn't swim. She knew that this was common. She hesitated. Her life was important, but not more important than watching a cat die and knowing it was her responsibility.

And with that, Cinderpaw let out a growl before jumping into the water.

* * *

**Whitekit: Cinderpaw! No! What's going to happen?**

**Small: You'll find out. **

**Whitekit: But she's my sister!**

**Small: So is Tawnykit, but you're never talking to her. **

**Whitekit: So? She's _boring._ Please tell us what happens! _Please!_**

**Small: Whitekit, I will. I'm going to update soon. I promise. **

**Whitekit: Good. **

**Small: So, until then! Please review!**

**xxx -Small**


End file.
